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The Farmers deer drive....


ray koziatek

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Once again i think i've been had by a so called friend. I spoke with Chowder about hunting his land for one last deer. Well He showed me the layout of his land from the barn yard,and told me ""The plan" for getting one last deer.

Well being new to the layout and seeing the 1 gallon jug of doe urin in his special rigged back pack seemed like a good plan. As i walked down towards the end of the first pasture i noticed the jug was leaking and smelled a lot like the barn with all the cows in heat.

Bout that time i hear andy hollar "good luck" and when i turned to wave thanks he stood at the Bulls barn with a 2000lb brama "big ben" with its nostrals flared like it was taking its first breath.

Then the bells went off ....no not in my head but the 4 cow bells in the backpack when i stumbled. Yup my old buddy fliped the gate latch and the ground rumbled as ben ran after the sounds and aroma of bessie and that was me.

I took off on a dead run (thats where you run or die) approaching a 3 ft high electric fence i knew i could clear it, whew no problem as i ran under it ,cept removing my hat exposing my bald spot in the middle of my hair. ut oh i thought bulls got weak eyes and that bald spot might resemble Bessies happy spot.

I slowed as i reached the creek bottom to turn to see the bull stop for thy electric fence ,well that worked like a screamin salmon on 4 lb test line, i ran for the nearest tree ,tho my climbing skills were not up to par with the added 40lbs of weight i did manage to get to 6 ft up,when i discovered egads the bull could reach 7 ft.

Thank goodness i had my new carharts on as i flew 15 ft higher in the tree. My backpack flew 20 ft to one side and the bull started to tear it up. Next thing i see is a 2000lb bull with a bell on each antler 300 ft of electric fence lighting up the woods like time square Christmass tree ,and the only thing glowing red wasnt his nose like rudolfs but something between his hind legs..Knowing my only way out of the tree was to jump i unzipped my jacket and with the grace of a 200lb flying squirrel i spread my coat and glided 25 ft straight down. Laying there like a infant waiting for its first lungs of air i notice ben has discovered his new toy was in a playfull mood and the chase was on..

I kick it in high gear towards my van at 10mph oh just about 15mph slower than big ben.

As I felt his breath on my neck knowing I was about to be voilated by a 2000lb bubba.

Just then a shot goes off as i pass a starlted doe and she drops ,I look up and Andys muzzleloader's still smokin he hollars "Thanks Ray" Ben got scared and ran back to the barn I jumped in the van wet pants and all (from the inside out)..and i ant never gonna help any farmer do a deer drive...

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Hey Ray, glad you enjoyed some good ole Chenango county hospitality! You & Musky are welcome back anytime and there is another place just down the road in Greene that's owned by a LOU member we ought to check out too and I hear it's loaded with all kinds of wild game! -Andy

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